Early Breastfeeding: 7 Tips for the First Six Weeks

Early breastfeeding is hard. I’ve made it through the first six weeks of breastfeeding a baby four times now. At a glance, these are my tips for surviving early breastfeeding:

1. Keep a variety of pillows handy
2. Get a good latch (my resources included)
3. Try different holds and positions (ideas and resources included)
4. Unswaddle the baby to feed
5. Hydrate a lot (and eat well)
6. Sleep as much as possible (and cuddle the baby)
7. Get a red lightbulb for night feeds

Breastfeeding Survival: A Fresh Experience

I am nine weeks in to successfully breastfeeding our fourth baby. And I have been reminded once again that early breastfeeding is challenging. There are a lot of variables that, if not ideal, can quickly escalate into serious problems.

Since this has been a fresh experience for me, I’ve put together these tips I’ve developed to survive breastfeeding in those early, particularly difficult weeks.

I chose the word “survive” on purpose. Because to be honest, in my experience, that’s what the first six weeks are all about. Some days – or feeds – are better than others. And there’s a lot going on as you and your baby get the hang of things.

It isn’t until after the six week (ish) mark that I begin to feel like things are usually mostly comfortable and easy. But to give you hope, if you’re in the early days, by nine weeks I honestly feel like breastfeeding is second nature for both Thad and me. It does get better!

However, I am not a lactation consultant. So please do seek out the help of an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant if you are experiencing a tough time in the early days of breastfeeding.

But sometimes it’s really valuable to have tips and tricks from fellow moms who have walked the path ahead of you. Sometimes it’s about little tweaks along the way. That’s what I’m aiming to do. I hope it is helpful for you!

If this post is helpful, you may also find some of my other posts on breastfeeding beneficial, including:

• Breastfeeding the First 3 Months: Tips and Resources to Flourish
• Breastfeeding Months 4-6: Benefits, Helpful Tips, and Schedules
• How to Survive Breastfeeding with Nipple Vasospasms (coming soon)
• Breastfeeding Lifestyle: Helpful Gear and Systems to Support Life with Baby (coming soon)

This post may contain affiliate links, which means I make a small commission at no extra cost to you. See my full disclosure here.

Welcome to Breastfeeding, You’ll Need Some Painkiller:

When Mara (Baby #1) was born, I felt dumped straight into the deep end of breastfeeding. I had a great milk supply, but that meant engorgement and my baby struggled to latch well. Very quickly, I had damaged nipples with a shallow latch.

I wasn’t sure how to make it a good latch, so I tried to practice my way to perfection. That meant a lot of latching and unlatching her, which only frustrated her and further damaged my nipples.

By five days after she was born, I had blisters, bleeding, scabs, and chunks of skin coming off. It was so excruciatingly painful, I still cringe as I recall that time.

I tried a nipple shield, but it actually hurt worse because she clamped down on my sore nipples through the nipple shield. I cried a lot of tears, and I rolled up socks into makeshift donuts to fit over my nipples to try to keep them from coming into contact with my bra.

In addition, I didn’t have great nursing bras (stiff, not the right size, seams in all the wrong places). And somewhere in the mix and frantic google searching, I realized that I had Reynaud’s Syndrome of the nipple. That resulted in nerve pain shooting into my back and feeling like I was being pierced with a knife for at least an hour after each feed.

It was absolutely the hardest and most painful experience of my life to date.

Getting the Hang of It:

I continued to grit my teeth and make it through every feed. And I started to analyze my situation for solutions.

The first thing I did was walk into a baby supply store and ask what their softest, most comfortable bra was for nursing. I most definitely cried tears as I explained to the woman working there that I was 3 weeks into this agony and needed some help.

The $60 dollar price tag seemed absolutely exorbitant, and I felt so guilty for spending that money on something as superfluous as a bra. But I walked out with a Medela Sleep Bra which may have been one of the key turning points.

The next few weeks were very up and down. But by six weeks, everything was starting to click. I got the latch figured out so I wasn’t continually traumatizing my nipples. And I figured out how to keep the Reynaud’s vasospasms from flaring up. (Never, ever letting my nipples get cold was key!)

I’ve gone on to breastfeed that baby and two more all well past a year old. The experience with Mara was the hardest. There was still a learning curve getting baby #2 and #3 to develop good latches. And I’ve had to manage the Reynaud’s with every baby. But it truly has gotten easier. This time around with Thad has been the least painful.

Encouragement if You’re in the Thick of Painful, Early Breastfeeding:

If you are in the midst of early, tough breastfeeding, I am so sorry! It’s really, really hard when you experience physical pain in order to give your baby the food he or she needs.

As a fellow breastfeeding mom who is trying to present the info that I wish I’d had, this is what I will say: pain is very common in the early days of breastfeeding. I know there are a lot of experts who say, “Breastfeeding shouldn’t be painful.” And maybe it SHOULDN’T. But the reality is that, for a lot of women, it IS painful.

It’s easy to think that, because it isn’t supposed to be painful but it is, you’re doing something wrong. And if you managed to get it right, it wouldn’t hurt.

In my experience, once there is pain, there isn’t a quick, simple, easy solution to fix the pain instantly. The end result of pain-free breastfeeding is totally possible, and it can become pain-free relatively soon in the scope of breastfeeding a baby for a year or more. But if there is already pain, there will continue to be some pain for awhile.

But the pain can and will get better by degrees if you start addressing what is causing pain. The vast majority of the time, it seems to be the baby’s latch. A poor latch can be caused by a variety of things, including the way the baby is being held, the anatomy of the baby, or the anatomy of the mom.

Below, I’ve listed the things I do to survive these early weeks of breastfeeding. And I’ll include ideas on how to address the different things that can cause a poor latch.

Breastfeeding Survival Tip #1: Keep a Variety of Pillows Close

In order to sustain breastfeeding, you’ve got to get your body comfortable and relaxed. This helps with milk letdown. It also just helps your body be able to do this again and again without your muscles getting cramped or sore from tension while holding the baby. This is where pillows come in!

I use a lot of pillows, and a variety of pillows. However, I don’t typically use nursing pillows because I don’t find them versatile enough for me. I also don’t have a designated nursing recliner or chair. So maybe if I did I would find the nursing pillows helpful.

Specifically, I have 1 European pillow, 1 firm Ecosa pillow, 2 tube-shaped pillows (semi-flat regular bed pillows that I rolled up length wise and tucked into a custom-made pillow case to keep in that position), and a couple throw pillows.

So if you don’t have the space for a whole nursery set up with a nursing chair, here’s how I use regular pillows:

For Reclined Feeding (the majority of feeds Weeks 0-2):

I use my European pillow and the Ecosa pillow behind my back in the early days. Then I can recline/sit and lay the baby kind of diagonally across my belly and feed.

I use a small throw pillow behind my neck and head to support my head. And I use long, firm, round pillows like arms of a chair tucked under my elbows and along my ribs.

All of this allows me to stay in bed and feed with a lot of pillow support. I also like to put a firm pillow under my knees. Or if my knees are bent up, I’ll tuck the pillow along one thigh so I can let my leg relax outward against the pillow.

This helps my tailbone not feel like it has a lot of direct pressure on it. My tailbone has been quite bruised feeling for about the first week after giving birth each time.

For Side-Lying Feeding (the majority of night and early morning feeds Weeks 2-6 and beyond):

I like my two long, tube-shaped pillows to be approximately parallel to each other, starting about shoulder length and pointing down toward my knees.

When lying on my side, I tuck one pillow behind my back and shoulder blades so I can relax and rest backward a little. And I put the other pillow on the outside of the baby.

I usually side nurse with the baby attached to the breast on the side I’m laying on. I position the baby’s head on my upper arm, with my arm angled outward from my body at about 45 degrees.

With the pillow on the outside of the baby, I can rest my forearm on the pillow while still keeping the baby tucked in close to maintain a deep latch.

For Couch Feeding (the majority of daytime feeds Weeks 2-6 and beyond):

One way I sit on the couch and feet is sitting up with good posture, legs in front of me, feet toward the floor. In this position, I like to tuck a firm throw pillow on top of my lap but underneath the baby to support the baby’s weight and keep the baby up toward my breast. And I also like to have a throw pillow under my elbow to support my elbow and lower arm.

The other (more common) way I sit while feeding the baby on the couch is leaning against an arm/side of the couch, with my legs tucked up with one knee down and the other knee up. This orients my body slightly at an angle.

I feed the baby on the “up” side, cradle-type hold, with their legs down past by my opposite hip. I like to tuck a throw pillow between my knees in this position so my hips and knees are more comfortable.

Sometimes I also use a pillow under/behind the elbow on the side I’m feeding. And it’s nice to have one to tuck behind my neck so I can rest my head back if I’m trying to catch a little cat nap while feeding.

For (hammock) Chair Feeding (evening/cluster feeds from 2 Weeks and beyond):

We have a hammock chair in our living area, which is a bit of a niche thing to have for furniture! But I keep a firm throw pillow on the back of the chair to give my lower back some support, and I have two rectangular throw pillows on each side of the chair to serve as arm rests.

I usually sit with my legs straight in front of me, and I put one of the rectangular throw pillows on my lap underneath the baby to bring the baby up to breast height, and the other one I tuck under my elbow on the side the baby is feeding on.

Spouse/Support Person Suggestions:

Ask if the breastfeeding mother needs more pillows or needs pillows adjusted. Sometimes you think everything is set up well and you get the baby latched and pillows in the spots you think you need them, but then something doesn’t feel comfortable.

Breastfeeding Survival Tip #2: Get a Good Latch

Now that you have your body and arms supported (and hips and knees and back!) with pillows, and you’re able to relax and be comfortable, you need to get a good latch.

You can try to get the latch first, but usually it involves holding the baby in an awkward position without pillows and your arms or shoulders or hands fatigue quickly, so that’s why I do the pillows first!

This is the magic thing everyone says, and it’s super hard to know what a GOOD latch is if you’ve never breastfed before and haven’t been all up in someone’s business while they’re breastfeeding to see!

I’ve found a couple videos on youtube extremely helpful:

Global Media Project has produced multiple videos to help mother’s with breastfeeding. I’ve found Attaching Your Baby at the Breast to be easy to understand with clear visuals and explanations about how to get a good latch and what to look for to see if it is a good latch.

And this tutorial on using the “flipple” or “breast sandwich” technique explains the method I finally was able to use to get a good latch with Mara.

This video covers a bit more about nipple pain, what traumatized nipples look like, and how to fix it: What To Do About Nipple Pain for Mothers

Spouse/Support Person Suggestions:

I strongly suggest you watch the videos above on how to get a good latch and how to recognize if someone has a good latch. She can totally breastfeed without having a perfect latch every time (mother-baby dyads just need to work out what works for THEM, as a unit, not what is the “right” or “wrong” way according to experts).

But typically, a good latch is really helpful for figuring out how to breastfeed with reduced and eventually no pain. And as a breastfeeding mother, it’s hard to see every angle. So you can be her eyes to see the latch from different positions.

Breastfeeding Survival Tip #3: Try Different Holds/Positions to Figure Out What Works for You

There are multiple ways to hold your baby at the breast for feeding, and it ultimately comes down to figuring out what works for your dyad. I will share how and when I use some of the most common ones for ideas if you’re feeling stuck.

Cross-Cradle Hold:

This is when the mother holds the baby to her breast with the arm and hand opposite of the breast she’s feeding the baby on. I find this hold helpful for early, early breastfeeding as I also recline. To me, it feels like this hold allows me the most capacity to help hold and direct my baby’s head when they have very little neck control.

Cradle Hold:

This position is when the mother rests the baby on the forearm and arm of same side as the breast she’s feeding on. I find this hold helpful for when baby is a little older (6 weeks or beyond) and they are starting to be able to move their head and neck around more.

This hold is also super helpful if I need to get up and do something with my other hand, which typically happens once my babies are older and I’m trying to continue to do life! So I’ve used this hold while I brush my teeth, help an older child get dressed, or make myself a cup of tea.

As a tip, especially when baby is little and it’s still in those first 6 weeks, the natural inclination is to put the baby’s head in the crook of the elbow and then reach down the baby’s back and hold the baby’s bum with your hand. The angle of your arm and the reach of your hand can actually pull the baby’s mouth out, away from your breast since their head is still small.

Instead, position your elbow back next to your ribs, place the baby’s head on your forearm, and then use your hand to support the baby’s back. And you can use pillows on your lap to prop up the baby’s lower body.

Side-Lying Hold:

Technically, this isn’t so much a “hold” as it is a position for the mother-baby dyad to lie down together! The mother lies on her side, and then positions the baby parallel to her body, with the baby’s head at her breast (the same side as the side she’s lying on, so the “down” breast rather than the “up” breast).

This means the baby’s feet are down toward her torso or thighs, depending on the length of the baby. Roll the baby onto its side facing the mother. I tend to position my “down” arm under the baby’s neck to help support the head and neck, and then my arm can loosely reach around the baby or rest on a pillow behind the baby.

I use this position a LOT during my breastfeeding journeys. It is my preferred nursing position for night time feeds or if I want to lay down and nap. Even if I don’t sleep, it is nice to be able to fully relax.

As mentioned above in the pillow section, I keep a pillow behind my back so I can rest back on it, and sometimes it is nice to put a pillow between my knees as well to help support them.

Reclined Hold:

This is a position where the mother lies back on pillows, probably at a 45 degree angle to the bed or surface she’s lying on. The baby is laid across her body or vertically up and down her body, with the baby’s feet being down near her hips or pelvis, and the baby’s head at the breast.

This position has the baby tummy-to-tummmy with the mom, or the baby might be slightly rolled toward its side in a cradle-type hold.

I use this position almost exclusively during the first two weeks of breastfeeding, as I want to be resting as much as possible. But the baby is so little I want to be able to see it a little better than I can when I am side-lying nursing.

I struggle a bit with how to get the baby on my breast and not have them falling off. I end up holding the baby more in a cradle position, just leaning way back. Because of that, I use pillows at my sides to prop up my arms to keep the baby in position.

It can also be tricky to get the baby to latch (although if they can, they are essentially self-latching and gravity helps keep them at the breast with a deep latch) since their heads are so bobbly with their limited neck control.

More Resources for Positions:

Global Health Media Project has created a video about positions for breastfeeding and how to get a good latch in several of the most common positions. If you’d like more visual help to see how to get the baby into these positions, check it out: Positions for Breastfeeding

Spouse/Support Person Suggestions:

Be aware of various different positions and know how to assess for a good latch regardless of the position. Remind the breastfeeding mother of different positions if she seems uncomfortable or things aren’t feeling good for her.

Breastfeeding Survival Tip #4: Unswaddle the Baby to Feed

It’s common to swaddle newborn babies so they feel secure. Swaddling also helps keep the Moro reflex from startling them awake when they are getting drowsy.

When babies are freshly swaddled, you can secure their arms down at their sides, but in my experience, babies have a way of wriggling their hands out and they end up more curled into a ball, with their arms and hands coming to their front.

It’s super helpful to have the baby tucked close to your body for a good latch. I try to always unswaddle my babies before I feed them. If their hands are between me and their body, it seems to result in their head needing to crane forward to get to the nipple and that results in a poor latch.

Similar to unswaddling, I also like to make sure my other breast or a chunky sweater that I’m wearing isn’t getting in the way of the baby’s positioning.

I like to tuck the baby under the breast I’m not feeding on and let that non-feeding breast rest on top of their body so I can keep the baby’s body in a straight alignment. The same thing applies to a thick clothing item that might hinder the baby from being tucked in tight.

Spouse/Support Person Suggestions:

If you hand the baby to your spouse, unswaddle the baby first. It’s usually easier to unswaddle the baby when you can lay him or her down on a bed. I like to sit or lay down and get my pillows adjusted and my bra unclipped and my shirt ready, and then receive an unswaddled baby that I can tuck in close and feed.

Also, when the baby is really little, it may be helpful to have an extra set of hands to help hold the baby’s hands back out of the way so the mother and baby can get aligned and in position.

As a rare alternative (I’ve done this with a few of my really curly-oriented babies that like to just curl up into a little ball!), it can be helpful to actually swaddle the baby tightly with their arms down at their sides so they can’t move the hands up to their mouth and face and chest area.

Either way, as the support person, find out what the mom wants done with the baby and try to do that for her before handing her the baby.

Breastfeeding Survival Tip #5: Drink, Drink, Drink (and Eat)

One of the most important factors for me breastfeeding, especially establishing my milk supply in the early days, requires me to drink lots and lots of water. I try to consume a little more than 5 liters of water in a 24 hour time period.

I find that I’m quite thirsty when breastfeeding anyhow, but I still need to be intentional about actually consuming the water. Typically, I fill my water bottle before sitting down to nurse, and plan to consume the entire bottle while the baby is feeding. This helps me get through a good chunk of my goal consumption.

A second important factor breastfeeding involves eating hearty, nutritious meals. I aim for plenty of protein (currently, I’m trying to hit at least 60 grams per day). And I feast on complex carbohydrates such as oatmeal, crunchy, delicious granola, whole grain sourdough bread, beans, etc.

Traditionally, dairy products haven’t been a huge part of my diet, but this time around I’ve been consuming a moderate amount of greek yogurt and cheese and butter.

Spouse/Support Person Suggestions:

While a breastfeeding mother doesn’t need to eat constantly, eating to satisfy hunger is important. You can help this process go smoothly by offering healthy, nutritious food.

Drinking water is absolutely vital to keeping milk supply up, so make a point of filling up a water bottle every time the baby is nursing and offering it to the mother. If she has to get up from a comfortable position to fill up her water bottle, it is far less likely to get filled and consumed!

Breastfeeding Survival Tip #6: Sleep, Sleep, Sleep (and Cuddle Your Baby)

A top priority for me once the baby has arrived and I’m in postpartum recovery mode involves adequate sleep. This helps with physical recovery and feeling like my mood is stable.

And in my experience, the amount of sleep I get directly correlates to the amount of breastmilk I produce.

When establishing my milk supply or when I feel like my milk supply is dipping, getting sleep really helps bring it up. And, of course, cuddling your baby is helpful, too!

Allowing the baby to nurse frequently, especially in the first 3 weeks, and keeping them close to you helps establish the supply-demand system of breastfeeding. I aim for at least 7 breastfeeding sessions every 24 hours, but early on, it is often more than that.

With Thad, my milk was slow to come in and his weight was low. Although I’d done a decent job the first five days of resting and cuddling the baby, I intentionally stayed in bed with the baby even after I was feeling ready to do more.

Getting lots of skin to skin, hydrating, and rest will promote optimal breastmilk production.

My goal is to get 10 hours of sleep in a 24 hour time period even after the initial 3 weeks of really intentional recovery. Obviously, with a baby that needs to eat every 2-3 hours, this means planning to be in bed for 12 hours at night, and also taking a nap in the afternoon in order to get that sleep.

That’s what I aim for. And it means I don’t do a lot more than eating, drinking, feeding the baby, sleeping, and taking care of my basic hygiene needs for those first 6 weeks.

Spouse/Support Person Suggestions:

Encourage the mother to stay in bed for at least the first five days after the baby comes, and to stay on the bed for the next five days.

+Don’t plan for the mom and baby to leave the house if at all possible for the first three weeks, and try to limit appointments or social obligations (ie: don’t have people over for visits – they can drop food at the front door) even through six weeks.

Support the mother getting as much sleep as possible by taking shifts with the baby and helping her keep her schedule free to catch as many naps as she can. Any time you can do a diaper change, do a burping session, bring mom the baby, take the baby for a walk so mom can get a solid nap without hearing the baby make all their snuffly baby noises, etc, that really does help!

Breastfeeding Survival Tip #7: Get a Red Lightbulb for Night Time Feeds (and Put Away Your Phone)

Red light seems to be less disruptive to sleep due to the fact that it doesn’t interfere with melatonin production in the way blue light does. So when I have a new baby, I switch out one of the lightbulbs on a bedside lamp in my sleeping space for a red lightbulb.

I usually have to turn the light on in order to get the baby a good latch for those first few weeks, at the least. Having a red light to turn on means I am able to get back to sleep more quickly since I haven’t disrupted my melatonin production.

I also try to leave my phone someplace else for the night in early breastfeeding. This is hard because middle of the night feeding can be boring, and I’m usually very tired in the middle of the night. So what I want to do is turn on my phone and entertain myself with mindless scrolling or watching something.

But I do find looking at my screen makes it harder for me to go back to sleep.

The combination of red light and no screens during the night time is really helpful for actually getting all the sleep you can get while surviving those early weeks of breastfeeding.

Spouse/Support Person Suggestion:

Find a red lightbulb and replace a lightbulb next to the bed. If possible, put a red or amber colored lightbulb in a lamp in the bathroom as well. It’s normal to make a LOT of trips to the bathroom in the early days of breastfeeding. And you really do need a light so you can see to change pads.

If you don’t have an analog alarm clock, pick one up. We rely on our phones a lot to tell time, so if you can remove the need to check the phone for the time, that will ultimately reduce the screen exposure and melatonin disruption.

Additional Resources and Small Tips to Survive Breastfeeding:

I hope this post has been helpful to you. If I could sit down next to you and offer you a cup of tea and 20 minutes of in-person encouragement, I would!

Breastfeeding is hard. It’s OK to feel overwhelmed and discouraged, and also, you can do really, really hard things! You have what it takes if you want to keep pushing through!

And if you decide that isn’t the best thing for your mental health and well being, that’s OK too. You are a good mother because you want what is best for your baby AND what is best for you, which is ultimately going to benefit your baby.

Let me know in the comments below if you’re working through breastfeeding hurdles or if these tips have been helpful. I’d love to hear your experience and respond personally.