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Breastfeeding the First 3 Months: Tips + Resources to Flourish

husband and wife surviving breastfeeding the first three months

Breastfeeding a baby to three months old is an accomplishment worth celebrating! Because breastfeeding the first 3 months isn’t easy, especially initially, and making it that long requires sacrifice and diligence.

I’ve now successfully breastfed four babies through the first three months. While I’m not a trained, certified lactation consultant, I feel like I have a grasp of what is “normal” to expect during those three months.

And I’ve developed some tricks that have made breastfeeding a bit easier, and made some blunders along the way that I’ve learned from!

I hope this post is helpful for you if you are starting your breastfeeding journey. My goal is that it will serve as a friendly, informative peek into someone else’s breastfeeding journey that you can glean some ideas and encouragement from.

I have several posts on breastfeeding, including Early Breastfeeding: 7 Tips for the First 6 Weeks, which may be helpful for you if you are trying to troubleshoot specific challenges around early breastfeeding.

Of course, I want to acknowledge that everyone’s parenting and breastfeeding journey is unique, with a unique set of circumstances. I can only speak from my experience. But if you are in a similar boat, I hope it will be helpful.

And, this post is not meant to be medical advice in any way. Consult with your own medical provider if you have any concerns or questions regarding your specific situation.

This post contains some affiliate links, which means I make a small commission at no extra cost to you. See my full disclosure here.

baby sleeping with hands up by face

My loosely structured approach to breastfeeding my babies the first 3 months:

With all of my breastfeeding journeys, I’ve been able to breastfeed directly and not NEED to pump.

I was working when Mara was born, but I was able to keep her with me and have a lot of flexibility. Once Jemma was born, I have stayed home with the kids, working only very part time from home.

As a result, I’ve been able to feed my babies “on demand” for those first three months of breastfeeding. But while I am available to feed the babies, I generally am not spending the day sitting on my couch with a baby latched for hours at a time.

I am a person who flourishes on a flexible schedule. So I work to establish a natural rhythm relatively soon.

Someone shared the E.A.S.Y. structure with me when Mara was little, and it’s what I’ve loosely followed ever since.

E.A.S.Y. stands for:

  • Eat
  • Awake
  • Sleep
  • You Time

When the baby wakes up, I offer it a full feed. I nurse on one side, burp the baby, let it have a few moments to rest and digest, and then I offer it the other side.

Then the baby has some awake time. (In our house, this is usually on the floor. Mostly, I just put the baby on a quilt and it watches the activity of the house, but sometimes we’ll pull out an activity gym.)

When the baby starts showing sleepy cues or getting fussy, I cross check with the clock to see if it is about nap time according to the baby’s wake window, and if it is, I put the baby down for a nap.

And then I have the baby’s nap time to hypothetically be “me” time – or household chores and projects!

mom sitting nursing baby during first three months

What to expected breastfeeding the first 3 months (month by month):

When I started breastfeeding Mara, I only had a vague idea of how frequently I’d need to feed her, how that would change over the first three months, what her sleep would be like, and what developmental milestones I would observe.

Now that I’ve breastfed multiple babies through those first three months, I have an idea of what is “normal.”

Of course, every baby is different – especially their sleep! But with my experience in this area under my belt, I find I am a lot more relaxed about breastfeeding and mothering in general these days.

I will share what I’ve observed and experienced about breastfeeding in these first three months. If you are a new mom navigating breastfeeding in those first three months and you are looking for an idea of what to expect, I hope this is helpful for you.

For reference, my babies have all been born at or after their due dates, so they were full term.

Mara experienced a slightly traumatic birth. She was born in the hospital with ventouse assistance after her heart rate was concerningly low during the pushing stage. I had an epidural with her, so she had that medication on deck. She was my slowest baby to latch and breastfeeding initially after birth.

The other three births were unmedicated, out of hospital settings with solid fetal heart tones all the way through labor. The babies latched and nursed relatively quickly after birth.

All of my babies have been between 7 and 9 pounds at birth. And my experience hasn’t included a cesarean section, a premature baby, or the need for infant resuscitation.

Tired mom breastfeeding baby

Breastfeeding the First 3 Months – Month 1: A Beautiful, Bloody Chaos

The first month of breastfeeding is a tender month. You have a sweet baby! And however you gave birth, you are in an intense physical recovery stage.

Your own body will be bleeding as your placenta site heals, your uterus will be shrinking, and likely your breasts will spend some time tender and engorged. This can be an extremely painful, overwhelming time.

On top of that, your baby is in its most vulnerable stage of life as well. It has the least amount of ability to consolidate sleep, move its body, and communicate. It’s still very much not used to living in the outside world.

It is intense, but you CAN do challenging things! And I honestly believe that God made this stage to be intense because as you navigate it, it builds your confidence that you can do this parenting thing.

Month 1 Feeding Frequency:

The baby will need to nurse every 2-3 hours around the clock.

The baby has a tiny tummy, so it needs really frequent feedings to fill it. This intense feeding schedule usually lasts until the baby has regained its birth rate and is nearing the 10 pounds mark.

I aim for at least 8 breastfeeding sessions per 24 hours. 10-12 sessions is totally normal some days.

Month 1 Sleep Patterns:

During the first month, babies usually sleep a lot, but it is very unpredictable. Newborns have very short wake windows.

In my experience, they seem to love to sleep when being held or physically in contact with someone, and often don’t sleep well at all when they are laid down on their own.

With my last two babies, I’ve just embraced this and gotten used at napping on the bed with the baby laying right next to me.

Mom and baby resting together after birth

Month 1 Tips for Surviving and Flourishing:

Tip 1: Once your milk has come in, burp the baby twice each feed

I like to feed on one side, let the baby stretch and arch its back and relax for a minute or two, burp the baby, change its diaper, and then feed on the other side and let it stretch, relax, and burp again.

Tip 2: Stay home and cuddle your baby as much as possible during this month

I strongly encourage clearing your social schedule completely and staying home to rest. For your own healing, for bonding with your baby, for getting as much sleep as possible when the baby is sleeping, for allowing your pelvic floor to heal and minimizing the risk of prolapse down the road.

Tip 3: Be prepared to endure a challenging season AND be ready to seek professional help if you aren’t coping well.

The baby will have little neck control, your breasts might feel huge, you may have a surplus of milk, you may feel very tired from the disrupted sleep, and your hormones will be all over the place.

It can feel really overwhelming. If anything extra comes up, you may find you’re starting to spiral.

Activate your spouse, your sister or whomever you need to help you do the leg work of getting professional support. Depending on the circumstances, that may be an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, a pediatrician, your midwife or OB-GYN, a licensed therapist, etc.

Don’t settle for suffering mentally or physically without support.

Resources:
Global Health Media Project has a great video series on breastfeeding. You can filter for language and the audience focus (mom or healthworkers).
KellyMom.Com
Le Leche League

My Favorite Breastfeeding Bra
Silverette Nipple Cups
Ergo baby carrier

Breastfeeding the First 3 Months – Month 2: Smiles, Supply Established, and Maybe More Sleep

Usually by the start of month 2, babies are gaining weight and strength, and your breasts are starting to feel less tender and painful.

If that is not the case, definitely proactively seek professional support and help!

Your bleeding may be starting to taper off by this point.

Your sleep is still usually pretty disrupted at this point, but if you are vigilant about getting sleep as much as possible when the baby is sleeping (even during the day), I’ve found I can usually avoid intense sleep deprivation feelings.

I find this month to be a sweet one. The baby is usually starting to smile and respond to me when it sees me, and after weeks of around the clock care, it feels like we have a relationship developing.

The baby can also start to hold its head better. So breastfeeding feels easier because I’m not having to do all the work of getting the baby’s head and neck into the right alignment. The baby can now participate a bit.

I will start to venture out of the house 1-3 times per week for an hour or two, but I still like to cocoon at home a lot through this month.

Month 2 Feeding Frequency:

The baby will still need to feed frequently. I am aiming for 7 feeds per 24 hours at this point. In my experience, breast tenderness is still normal at 4 weeks, but should be getting a lot better by 8 weeks.

Engorgement should also be getting better by 4 weeks, although you may feel like your breasts are very full before most feeds.

Once the baby wakes up for the morning and has their first “day” feed, I usually start to have a good idea of about when I will be feeding throughout the day.

My goal is to be feeding at 3 hour intervals from the first morning feed until evening. So if that first feed is at 7:15am, I know I’ll be trying to feed the baby at 10:15am, 1:15pm, and 4:15pm.

During this phase, my babies have often been unsettled in the late afternoons and into the evenings. This seems to peak about week 6, with a gradual ramp up from 3 weeks onward.

My babies can get easily overstimulated by noise and people and light in the evening. Although I’m starting to venture out more during the day, I try to avoid evening events as much as possible to minimize an overtired, overstimulated baby.

I expect that the baby is going to want to be held in the evening, and it may want to cluster feed. Although this can feel taxing, I know evening cluster feeding is important to help establish and maintain milk supply.

Sometimes, I go to bed early and take the baby with me to side-lying nurse so I can get some rest while the baby is comforted and nurses. Gabe also will often take a shift holding the baby, swinging in our hammock chair, or wearing the baby in the ergo.

breastfed newborn looking at camera

Month 2 Sleep Patterns:

Several of my babies started to sleep for a 5-6 hour stretch during this month. Often that stretch is from about 7pm to midnight or 1am.

This longer stretch of sleep seemed to roughly correlate to when they hit or passed 12 pounds (5.4kg).

I often find this month is when the night times seem to go a bit more smoothly. As the babies near that 8 week mark, it doesn’t seem like it takes quite as much work to burp the baby, and I can even start to feed the baby without needing to turn on a light.

The babies also seem to not always poop during every nighttime feed, so sometimes I can just feed, burp, and put the baby back to bed without having to change a diaper as well.

A typically night may be a feed at 7:15pm (about the 5th feed of the day), a stretch of sleep from 7:45pm until another nursing session about 1:30am (feed 6), then back to sleep and another nursing session about 4:30am (feed 7), and then back to sleep until 7:30am or so when we start a new day.

Naps may be a bit sporadic still, but as we near that 8 week mark, it seems my babies are starting to settle into a bit more predictable of a routine. Usually a nap after the 7/8am-ish feed, another one after the 10/11am-ish feed, another one after the 1/2pm-ish feed, and then often they will stay awake or just do a very short cat-nap between the 4/5pm feed and bedtime.

I have used an infant sleep hammock for all my kids during this stage, which is especially helpful because it bounces. So I can usually stand next to the hammock and bounce the baby to sleep for naps.

Month 2 Tips for Surviving and Flourishing:

Tip 1: Keep hydrating and sleeping as much as possible to maintain your milk supply

Hydration and sleep have been key for my milk supply maintenance, along with feeding the baby of course! As life seems to start to settle down a little from the crazy first month, this is a good time to reevaluate and make sure you’re getting adequate hydration, and strategize how to get more sleep.

My husband and I usually maintain sleeping in different rooms at this point, and I will nurse the baby at about 7pm and leave the baby with Gabe to settle and I’ll go directly to bed. If I can get a 5 hour stretch of sleep before that first middle of the night feed, it makes a huge difference for me.

Tip 2: Stay home when possible to maximize rest and ensure adequate feeds per 24 hours

When I’m out and about, I tend to get distracted and busy and we get off our feeding/sleeping routine. Although I feel ready to go do more, I try to rein myself in and make a point to be home the majority of the time during month 2.

Tip 3: Master different nursing positions

As the baby gets bigger and stronger, this is a good time to try different positions to expand your repertoire of feeding position options.

Tip 4: If you plan to pump and give bottles, now is a good time to gradually start a pumping routine

I haven’t had to pump and have milk to feed the baby regularly, but I know that is uncommon. Le Leche League recommends waiting until 4 weeks to get breastfeeding established before starting a pumping routine and introducing a bottle to the baby.

happy baby smiling at mom with hands over mouth

Breastfeeding the First 3 Months – Month 3: Getting the Groove and Enjoying It

By the start of month 3, breastfeeding has felt like it is turning a corner for me. This month is when I feel like breastfeeding starts to get a lot easier.

Although the frequency of breastfeeding a baby is still an intense time commitment, the actual nursing sessions start to shorten. It isn’t uncommon for a breastfeeding session to be only 10-15 minutes long at this stage because my baby has gotten really efficient by this point.

The baby has a lot more neck control by this point, their head and mouth are bigger, and it is easier to get a good, deep latch. Although they are starting to feel social and will sometimes pop off the breast to smile and interact with you, in general, they seem to be very enthusiastic about eating.

My babies also start to really recognize me and indicate they want to interact with me at this stage, so picking them up to feed them is usually a positive relational exchange, too!

To be honest, although I never feel like I LOVE the act of breastfeeding, I do feel like this month is when breastfeeding transitions from something I just have to do to care for my baby to something that has some really enjoyable benefits for me as well.

Some of my babies at this stage start to reduce their number of poopy diapers because their bodies are absorbing the nutrients of the breast milk so efficiently. It’s normal for breastfed babies to have a wide range of pooping frequency. Anywhere from several times per day to only every 7 to 10 days!

Month 3 Feeding Frequency:

I still try to make sure I’m getting 7 breastfeeding sessions per 24 hours. Usually my supply is starting to regulate well at this point, and engorgement feelings is not usually a problem unless the baby sleeps an extra long time.

I can still see a dip of supply if I am short on rest or have busy days when I am not hitting 7 feeds per day. So I do still monitor those things by assessing if the baby seems content after each feed and if there are any changes to the baby’s sleep schedule or pee and poop output that seem concerning.

Usually the need for cluster feeding and working so hard to get the baby settled at night is starting to calm down by the start of month 3. Of course, I try to respond to the baby’s cues for food, so if the baby does seem to want to just cuddle and feed for an extra long time in the evening, I try to go with that.

Overstimulation can still be a problem in the evenings, but this is usually the month when I’m willing to start occasionally having an evening commitment or event.

baby smiling happily after breastfeeding session

Month 3 Sleep Patterns:

By the start of month 3, I feel like my babies are beginning to settle into a fairly consistent nap routine during the day and sleep routine at night.

A typical 24 hour routine looks something like:

  • Waking at about 7am. Feed. Get dressed/diaper change. Back to sleep by 8:15am. Sleep until 10am.
  • Waking at 10am. Feed. Diaper change/floor play. Back to sleep by 11:15. Sleep until 1pm.
  • Waking at 1pm. Feed. Diaper change/floor play or go on a walk. Back to sleep by 2:30pm. Sleep until 4pm.
  • Waking at 4pm. Feed. Diaper change/floor play/bouncy chair. Falling asleep at 6pm for a short nap.
  • Waking at 6:20pm. Quick feed while Mom is eating dinner. Diaper change/floor play/bath. Get into pajamas. Interact with siblings/parents. Hang out with Dad while Mom does kitchen clean up or older kids bedtime routine.
  • Getting drowsy by 7:45pm. Long nursing session, baby falling asleep at breast. Down for bed at 8:15pm.
  • One or two middle of the night wake up (if one, between 2 and 4am; if two, usually first between midnight and 2am, second between 3am and 5am.), nurse in Mom’s bed. Back to sleep until morning.

In order to get the baby to sleep for naps, I usually need to bounce the baby in the hammock for a bit, walk or rock it until it starts to drift off in my arms, or offer it the breast to comfort nurse for 5 minutes to help it drift off.

At this stage, I try to encourage independent sleeping by laying the baby down when it is drowsy but not in deep sleep once or twice a day, but I don’t stress about it.

Mother surviving breastfeeding baby

Month 3 Tips for Surviving and Flourishing:

Tip 1: If you’re feeling social, this is a great month to start to get out more.

Babies are usually pretty mobile at this point and take naps easily in a carrier. If you’ve done a good job of staying home and sleeping and resting and establishing your milk supply during the previous 2 months, this is when it really does start to feel easier to get out.

Tip 2: Make sure you are hydrating enough and getting sufficient sleep.

It can be easy to start doing more and hydration and sleep can get sacrificed. In order to continue maintaining your milk supply, both are important.

I try to make sure I’m not squandering all my baby’s longest stretch of nighttime sleep by staying up late (although that does happen sometimes!). Interrupted sleep will go on for a few more months – pace yourself!

Tip 3: If you’re itching to get into more physical activity, this is a good time to do it.

I like to start to take more walks with the baby in the carrier at this point. Up until now, I try to be really careful about how much I’m making my pelvic floor do, but especially as I get closer to the end of Month 3, I usually feel like I can start to handle more exercise.

I like to start focusing on rebuilding my core at this point, and walking. I also love the Chelsea Method’s 5-minute workouts and intentional core rehabilitation programs.

Tip 4: Watch your posture

Maintain good posture when breastfeeding (prop the baby up on pillows). Also, when standing and holding your baby, engage your core, stand up straight, and lean forward until you can see your ankles. Try to avoid the “mom posture slump.”

baby relaxing after breastfeeding

First 3 Months of Breastfeeding Wrap Up:

Breastfeeding those first three months is, in my opinion, the hardest part of the breastfeeding journey. But if you can make it through those first three months, you are over the biggest hurdle and in my experience, it really does get a lot easier!

With my first baby, I tried to do way too much in the first three months, and I didn’t prioritize being home and resting and giving myself lots of time to establish breastfeeding. I learned from that experience and breastfeeding has gotten a lot better.

I’ll be honest, it is never completely pain free for me especially during month one. But it is tolerable and manageable when I’m able to focus on getting the latch right and lots of rest.

If you are planning to breastfeed or in the middle of the first three months of breastfeeding, I hope this post is helpful and encouraging in a realistic way. I wish I had had so much more information and awareness of what a normal breastfeeding experience really looked like, and that is what I’ve tried to provide for you in this post.

I am so thankful I’ve been able to breastfeed my babies, and I am really pleased that I pressed through the hard parts and kept going. If you have a desire to breastfeed, I want you also to have that sense of satisfaction when reflecting on this season of your life.

Let me know in the comments below if you have any questions or if you’d like more posts on any particular aspects of breastfeeding. And consider yourself hugged – I’m cheering for you!

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